The Pickle Nazi
WORNING:::::: TIHS PEIJ IS REEL STORI SO PLZ NO H8 ENT ALOSO DUNT FURGUT 2 FOLO ON TWATTER @FAGIT So there I stood, dick in my hand, pickle in the other. How I got here you might wonder. Well I'll start off saying this was one damn crazy ride. It all started in the summer of 2004 when my grandad let me feel his willy in my mouth. It tasted like pickles. At that moment I realised a simple thing, what if all willies were pickles? I spent 4 years of my life researching my beliefs in the so called "willy-pickle" theory. My research shortly created a new belief which became a religion. After a while, it began. The war. Christians were firing from all angles with wooden crossbows, loaded with crosses. The war all started with a pickle that was shot 8 inches up the pope's anus. If only the Christians new that the pope loved it, but he had no chance to tell them because he died shortly after the "murder" with a smile on his face. The two religions were complete opposites. The Christian's priests held children's willies in their hands while "pickler" priests held pickles. Christians believed in God, a never proven creature, never seen before in any shape or form. Picklers believe in Pickle Surprise, an extremely famous omnipotent (seen) creature with a pickle for a head. Thanks to pickle surprise we have been able to advance in technology fast enough to make fully automatic pickle guns able to fire 24 full sized pickles per second, yet being easily portable even in a jeans pocket. It was specifically made so that in your pocket your pickle would feel smexxy. Anyways, back to the story. After I found out the truth about the pickles, I had to do it, for her. "Honey we have to go, pack your dildos." I said in anger. "Fuck off faggot I'll keep it in my ass." she answered "Whore." "You pickle fucking cunt." I was mad. I whipped out my pickle and made her choke to death on it. We both liked it. I had to run but I couldn't, everyone knows me, they know my face, they know the power of my pickle and what it can do. I ran to the village hidden in vietnam where I was worshipped as a god for my pickle size, but I didn't know that they were coming back. They busted my door down, "WHERE IS SHE?!111" He said with a deep voice "idk batman but that's a nice mustachio you got there" I answered "I am not batman my friend, not yet. Now tell me, where is Anne Frank?" All of a sudden I realized. that was Adolf Hilton, Paris Hilton's nazi father. "I had to kill her as a baby. Me and doc went back to kill her so she wouldn't raid the train and kill the president of Uganda." I answered with a straight face. Adolf's pickle went berserk, it started flying across the room and blew up, opening up a wall to the outside of the chamber. There she was. Lady gaga wearing a pickle suit, she told me everything about who I was meant to be, but no matter how many times you died and re-lived the day, you never learned your lesson. She went really close to me and said "do you wanna know the truth?" "Yes of course." I answered in curiosity. she got up really really close to my ear almost as if she could bite it off. "Pickle surprise." she whispered in a low tone. I felt it then, the pickle head indulging my insides in every which way. I accepted him into my life. "Pickle surprise." I thought to myself "Pickle surprise." Category:Village Hidden in Vietnam